5:30 AM: Wife wakes up to smell of coffee perking. I wake when I hear all-night download of MiG Alley Demo finish. Head hurts.

5:31 AM: Log onto FS newsgroup to read Falcon 4 patch news. I feel better.

5:32 AM: Log onto CombatSim to check preview of F5. Not there yet. Pissed at Len! Look forward to MiG Alley Demo though. Some sneezing.

5:33 AM: Log onto EB World to see if Mig Alley has come in. Go to Rowan website. Site is gone. Check to see if Mig Alley Demo downloaded successfully. File not there. Tremors and coughing.

5:34 AM: Start European Air War.

Crash Mustang on take-off.

5:34 AM: Change EAW resolution, thinking it may help. Crash Mustang again. Shaking in legs. 200mg Prozac.

5:35 AM: Download DX7.0 for 6th time. Defrag 34GB Drive D in anticipation of fresh installs all around. Have a vodka coffee.

8:55 AM: Decide "it's a brand new day, and you're a brand new man" Reinstall Windows 98.

9:42 AM: "If you're gonna do it, do it" dad always said. Decide to reformat hard drives and start right. Feel good about the way this is going.

12 Noon: Power outage on W98 reinstall. Hard disk trashed beyond repair.

12:01 PM: Call Gateway for tech help. Put on hold.

3:17 PM: Gateway tech answers. I describe problem.

4:27 PM: Gateway tech understands problem. Says he can't help. Puts me through to New Gateway Sales Partnership for the Millenium. Have 2 vodka diet root beers. Twitching in carotid artery starts.

4:32 PM: Slip into no-problem coma.

5:15 PM: Install European Air War and Direct X version 7 on wife's PC.

5:30 PM: Move sound and video cards from my PC to wife's.

9:30 PM: Installation complete. Looking forward to some serious flight time.

9:31 PM: Start EAW on Wifey's PC. Crash Mustang on take-off. Have 3 vodka diet root beers. 200 mg Zoloft.

9:32 PM: Wife shouts that she's starting Nude Michelle Pfeiffer movie rental. "One day at a time" is the right way to think. Tomorrow is a new day. Enough with this flight sim stuff!

9:32 PM: I log onto Flight Sim newsgroup.

9:33 PM: Respond with extremely helpful EAW advice to 2 newbie posters.

9:34 PM: Work briefly for two and a half hours on various incendiary posts for 5 separate go-nowhere flame wars I'm involved in. Heartburn (acid reflux?) kicks in.

11:57PM: Begin "midnight mellow" time with F-15.

11:58PM: Take-off in Medium Realism Mode for 1st time! Tremors stop.

11:59PM: Inadvertantly jettison all fuel.

Little veins in forehead start to swell. 3 vodka ice creams. Eject. Throw embolism.

12:12 PM: Check EB for Sunday deliveries. Start Mig Alley Demo download.

12:15 PM: Begin serious read of difficult avionics section in Flanker 2.0 manual.

12:16PM: Fall asleep. Dream about being the Red Baron.

*Apologies to Victor Duniec.

ARHarris

CEO: Skull & Bonehead Squadron

2000